my cars shift themselves

Posting on the fly again but I will try not to make any spelling errors for you scrawny little typo-hawks to peck at. I just got back in town, in time to go to work at Stage Nine. There is a 64% chance I will be bored at work so come and visit me.

When my grandmother passed away last winter she left a big old house in the middle of nowhere (Gaspereau Forks, New Brunswick, to be precise). I expect I will be living there one day. Probably sooner rather than later.

I invite you to stand in front of the house, as I did, and turn in a slow circle–

That little red shed by the driveway contains a 1960 Vauxhall Envoy that hasn’t been driven in 35 years. It has fewer than 40,000 miles on it. I’ve got to learn me some mechanics.

6 thoughts on “my cars shift themselves

  1. Spelling- 10 out of 10
    Grammar- Misuse of first person singular. I, in fact, is the subject, me the object. Use of me extraneous.
    Grammar & diction pecking is $exy and can be considered foreplay.
    “Perfection in diction is the indication of eloquent manners and self-conscious lovers” – Oscar Wilde

  2. Grammar- Misuse of first person singular. I, in fact, is the subject, me the object. Use of me extraneous.

    Wrong. “Come and visit me” is an imperative statement; the subject is actually an unwritten “you.”

    “Me” is the object of the verb “visit” and is not extraneous at all. This is a separate clause from “I will be bored at work.”

    Technically, I should’ve had a comma between “work” and “so” as they are independent clauses. But when it comes to commas I make my own fuckin’ rules.

  3. Touche. Except for the fact I was referring to a different sentence.
    But enough about grammar.
    You’ve spoiled the mood.

  4. hmm… a fixer-upper. maybe we can work something out wherein i get citizenship and you get a live-in contractor and chef?

    i have cool pets and a flat screen tv… and did i mention that i have wicked bartending skills?

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