I’m having a party this Saturday, May 21, at my beautiful country estate in the province of New Brunswick. Email me for directions. It’s about three and a half hours from Halifax, and around an hour or 90 minutes from Moncton, Fredericton or Saint John. If you want to come but don’t have a car, let me know and I’ll see if I can hook you up with someone. If you want to come sooner and stick around a couple days, that’s cool. We’re gonna have a funky good time.
Here are a few things we’ll be doing:
* Drinking on the sunporch
* Running up and down the stairs
* Putting on dresses
* Stalking beavers
* Drunk driving on a ride-on lawnmower
* Watching Robocop
* Listening to 15 minutes of CRASS
* Jumping out of moving cars
Jumping out of a moving car is my new favourite game. I’m obsessed with jumping out of a moving car. I did this all afternoon yesterday. I kept backing up to the top of the hill, putting the car into drive, getting it going as fast as I could handle it and then opening the door and jumping out. It’ll be even better with other people here, because then I won’t have to worry about jumping back into the moving car before it hits the steep downhill slope of my driveway and totally gets away in a big disaster. With someone else driving, you can concentrate on the pure art of the jump. Not to say that I don’t enjoy jumping into a moving car. Jumping into a moving car is a whole satisfying sport unto itself. You run as fast as you can, and when you’ve caught up to the moving car you put one hand on the roof and one hand on top of the door and hoist yourself up and into the moving car just in time to put on the brakes before disaster strikes. You get that whole “boat approaching a crazy waterfall” feeling. As you run after the car, a good trick is to picture a couple of orphans sitting in the backseat staring at you helplessly. Man, if that car gets away from you and goes over the cliff, you’re never going to be able to erase the memory of the terrified look in those poor orphans’ eyes. That thought should help you run a little bit faster.
I set up the camera and did four or five passes, most of them were way more dramatic than this, with faster speeds and big somersaults and stuff, but this was the only one where everything was in the frame:
I’ve been working on my reverse driving skills too. Just trying to drive in reverse as fast as I can.
Jumping out of a moving car that’s going in reverse is a whole other world. Not to mention, jumping into a moving car that’s going in reverse. That really gets the adrenalin flowing, because it’s not enough to merely catch up to the moving car. You have to catch up to the car, and then go a little faster than the car is going, because you have to run around the open door before you can jump in. I would say the pinnacle of the whole sport is jumping into a moving car that’s going downhill in reverse.