It’s some kind of business to cross a continent. Takes you all friggin’ day.

They weren’t going to let me on the plane. I didn’t have the right papers. The agents looked away, froze me out. “We can’t let you on the plane without proper proof of citizenship.”

A guy at the next counter took my case unto himself and phoned and faxed and expedited. Within an hour I got a birth certificate faxed from Vital Statistics in New Brunswick. Good thing I showed up nice and early at the airport.

In Boston the passport person at customs looked at the fax upside-down and right side up and said, “They probably shouldn’t have let you on the plane with this.” I’d already had a full morning of ups and downs. Then she smiled at me and put her finger over her lips–shhh–and hit me with a rubber stamp. Now I want to kiss a cute blonde in honour of the Boston customs agent. Thank you for not doing your job properly. Thank you for keeping America unsafe!

At any moment I half-expected a bunch of troopers to come after me with handcuffs and dogs. But after I got on the plane in Boston no one troubled me again. I just hope that fax gets me back into Canada.

Stopover. Fast motion moving sidewalks. Along the wall there’s a montage of large photographs taken from the area around Salt Lake City, which is in Utah, which is Zion. A zippy tour of molten lava mountains, alien landscape descent from sun into darkness. The walls pass in a blur. “Ray Of Light… The Delicate Arch… The Frogs Of Moab…” Whoa, wait… what? Bring that shit back.

I woke up this morning at the House Of Schlomo in San Francisco, California. Vloggercon 2006.

[6MB QuickTime]

8 thoughts on “swordfight-vcon01-wakeup.mov

  1. Hey Phillip.. it was great to meet another Maritimer at Vloggercon! Not sure if you remember me, but I talked with you briefly after one of the sessions. Sorry about your trouble at the airport. That happened to me once, and I missed my flight (when flying home to NB). Hope you had a great time in SF! The other person I know who lives in NB is Laura from http://www.ltwo.blogspot.com/.

  2. like where yea been all my life?
    i’m fighting off robot rabbits that hit the earth in that comet we heard hit the earth
    the insect bits make us stronger
    it only itches cause we like that
    plus there are enough fries to go around
    keep a look out
    those nats are actually cameraas
    more later
    as the multiverse unfolds

  3. I really enjoyed meeting you in SF and going to Big Sur together. Was great fun. Take care and good luck with all. FFS get a dsl line already!

  4. It was really great hanging out with you in San Fran. I am glad that you made it here and home again safe and sound. Sorry that I didn’t get a chance to hang out with you and Chris and see some crazy art. I guess that will have to happen on the next adventure…

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