Tuesday, November 18, 2003
The reason I lie: because I'm sure everyone would hate me if I didn't lie to them.
Self loathing is such a great quality to possess. Maybe in my mind it's easier to loathe myself than actually be loathed.
The person I choose to tell the truth to, probably hates me now and I'm not sure if it's better being honest and being hated or being loved and being a liar. The phrase, Stop Lying to Yourself reverbates through my head and I guess the last little while I've been able to tell myself I'm not lying at all. I probably employ the same trick that career criminals use to fool a polygraph.
Before I start transforming myself into some sort of martyr, I should probably realize that
I should think of all these things before I undertake the actions that I feel I need to lie about. I wouldn't have to come clean if I did the right thing.
Regardless it's time to face up to the consequences of the things I do.
This time I'm not running away from anything.
Self loathing is such a great quality to possess. Maybe in my mind it's easier to loathe myself than actually be loathed.
The person I choose to tell the truth to, probably hates me now and I'm not sure if it's better being honest and being hated or being loved and being a liar. The phrase, Stop Lying to Yourself reverbates through my head and I guess the last little while I've been able to tell myself I'm not lying at all. I probably employ the same trick that career criminals use to fool a polygraph.
Before I start transforming myself into some sort of martyr, I should probably realize that
I should think of all these things before I undertake the actions that I feel I need to lie about. I wouldn't have to come clean if I did the right thing.
Regardless it's time to face up to the consequences of the things I do.
This time I'm not running away from anything.
