~ Snot Part Two:

Last night I dreamed I blew my nose, and when I looked into the tissue, there were little black spots in the goo. To my surprise I realized that some of them were moving.

I blew my nose again and a dozen fruit flies came out of my nose and flew around the room in a little cloud.

I could feel a crusty booger in one of my nostrils as well. It popped out of my nose and landed on the floor and separated into a pair of spiders.

The spiders scuttled across the rug on skinny red legs.

I started coughing and I coughed up a big piece of phlegm and when I spat it out, it was a slick wet black beetle. It ran around and around in circles at my feet.

I was thinking, “I can’t possibly be awake right now. This has to be a dream. But if it were a dream, I would be able to wake up, and I can’t wake up. That means I’m awake. This is all really happening.”

I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I had a piece of bread or something stuck between my teeth. I worked it out with my tongue and spat it out. It turned out to be a big centipede.

Bugs started pouring out of my head.

I was looking around, trying to figure out what to do. I noticed the bathtub was half-filled with water. There was a seagull sitting in there.

He was just floating there, looking around.

The seagull was the most disturbing aspect of the dream, for some reason.

~ Later on I dreamed that Motorhead were playing at the Marquee Club. I was thinking it would be cool to sing “Blitzkrieg Bop” by The Ramones, with Motorhead as my backing band.

So I went to go backstage, and when I got downstairs the bar turned into the Scotia Square food court. The cute crazy girl I kissed last night at the Marquee was sitting there. She had been sitting by herself for hours.