Monthly Archives: September 2003

~ The Marquee Club’s been

~ The Marquee Club‘s been dead this week. Where’s the love? Time passes much more quickly at work when there are people to watch.

I almost got in a fight leaving the club on Wednesday. Bigger than me, but drunk and slow. Fantasized: hit him hard, hit him fast, one chance to break his nose. I just turned my back on the guy and walked away. “Pretty fuckin’ smug, buddy,” he said.

I listened in case he decided to follow. Instead, I heard him trying to persuade his girlfriend to throw her hot dog at me. Puke and bloodstains on the sidewalk. Again I say… where’s the love?

~ Taking the night off tonight to go perform at a NASCAD dance. Drunk art school kids know how to party.

~ art star 2001 [4MB mp3]

~ Inadvertent Confession Department: I was complaining to Geoffrey about how quickly our house goes through toilet paper. “Somebody in this house must have a pretty clean bum,” I said. “And it isn’t me!”

~Ger has declared “I Hate Women Week.” Claudette just announced “I Hate Almost Everyone I Know Week.”

In an effort to balance out all this bile, here at Swordfight World HQ it is now officially “Where’s The Love Week.”

Here goes:

<3 "The Love" is when you've found the perfect temperature for washing dishes. Not too hot, not too cold. <3 "The Love" is a stuffed animal that's been thrown away and found again and put to novel use. <3 "The Love" is the tallest, blondest woman in the room, so obvious you don't even notice her. <3 "The Love" is when the cat comes along and tries to sit on the keyboard of your laptop when you're typing this blog entry. <3 "The Love" is all about having a clean bum. <3 "The Love" is finding a picture you took this summer of a beautiful lady and using it as the desktop image for your iBook, so you get all hot and bothered every time you turn on the computer. (Wanna see?)

<3 "The Love" is what I feel for all of you, deep down inside [my pants].

<3 “The Love” may be found somewhere over the rooftops of the North End. Feel free to suggest places where one might look for “The Love.”

The other day, I came

The other day, I came across a “free stuff” box on the corner of Creighton and Falkland. I rooted around underneath all the unwanted clothing and found over a dozen little stuffed animals.

It kept me busy for a good fifteen or twenty minutes, running around the North End…


Creighton and Falkland is a humble-looking corner, but this is the site of the legendary Electro Stoop. It’s like the Times Square of the North End.

ARRRRRR MATEYYYYYYY Claudette emailed me


Claudette emailed me and said “Let’s go on a road trip.” I wrote back and said “Let’s go go go go go.” So the next morning we headed down towards St. Margaret’s Bay with no real clue where we were going.

At one point we stopped to follow a trail into the woods. The trail wound around and around, deeper and deeper into the forest, before eventually emerging… back out on the highway.

We splashed around at a beach and had a nap on some rocks and I took many lovely photos of the rocky Atlantic shore.


On this day I was grateful that I don’t live on the Prairies.

I got to drive for a while. Claudette grabbed my video camera and started videotaping me in the rear view mirror and videotaping her foot out the passenger side window, and she videotaped her boob and then she tried to pull up my shirt and videotape my boob, and the Ramones are playing really loud and the whole time I’m going, “Will you sit down and put your seat belt on!”

Today is an important day for a couple of reasons. It’s my grandmother’s birthday–she’s 92. The whole reason I want to finally get my driver’s license is so I can drive to New Brunswick and visit her.

Yesterday in Victoria Park I saw a couple of seniors sitting on a park bench and I went and sat beside them. I love little old ladies, probably because I love my grandmother so much. I always flirt with them: “How are you lovely ladies doing today?”

I have no fear of aging–in fact, I’m kind of looking forward to being old. I’m going to be the terror of the nursing home.

Also, September 19 is Talk Like A Pirate Day. Considering took its name from one o’ me favourite swashbuckling activities, ’tis better than Christmas, ye scurvy dog!

Come see Spinoza at the Marquee tonight and raise a cup of grog, or I’ll keelhaul ye!

high fidelity flyer

Hoist the Jolly Roger!

Busy days, busy nights. I

Busy days, busy nights. I feel like a ghost on fast-forward. Maybe I should live in a slightly smaller town where there’s slightly less going on.

This week, film festival. My technician’s pass gets me into all the movies. I watched movies to the point where they’ve started to blur together. Also working at the Marquee, with all the debauchery involved in hanging around that place. I’m playing there Friday night.

On sunny days, I take my iBook to Victoria Park to do some writing. I type a couple paragraphs and then doze off.

There’s a lot I’ve got to get out.


“Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.”

I thgouht taht was anmaizg.

Aright, so that headless picture

Aright, so that headless picture of Claudette was a total tease. Here she is again:


She looks quite beautiful, even if she did burst into tears five seconds after I snapped this photo.

Everybody write something for my new site! Pretend you’re the coolest newspaper columnist in the world. Pretend you’re trying to impress me so I’ll offer you a blog on Pretend you’re funny even though you’re morbidly depressed. Pretend Halifax is just a big Lego city that you can rebuild to your liking, and then tell me about the tragedies that take place in this big Lego city that you constructed all over the floor of Bella Muse. I’m here to listen baby!

Today I had lunch at the Mid East Food Centre at the corner of Agricola and North. All I can say is, Yummm Eeeeee. The food’s pretty good too!