hitler vs. satan

So I got compared to Hitler on my blog yesterday. It’s caused a bit of excitement around the house.

I called up my Mom and told her. She was quite proud of me; as you might expect, since she was the one who paid for my first swastika tattoo.

Mark has taken to calling me ‘Hitler’ now, as in, “See ya later Hitler, don’t let the [mumble mumble something about Russian hordes].”

And I came up with a little Hitler dance yesterday afternoon. It involves making funny faces and goosestepping around the lebensraum shouting “Raus raus, fila fila!” with my finger under my nose like a moustache.

We’ve had to figure out everyone’s role in the new Swordfight axis of evil. If I’m Hitler, then Mark decided he’s Finland (didn’t want to be evil but got invaded and had no choice). And Gerry is Italy (he wants everybody to vote for George Bush so he must be a fascist).

That means Claudette must be Japan… only, instead of bombing Pearl Harbor… she got bombed in Hell’s Kitchen.

I’d been on this Satan kick, calling the blog “the new face of evil” and thinking that Satan is the epitome of all things evil. But yesterday I realized something.

Hitler too is pretty damn evil. In fact, it is quite possible that Hitler might be more evil than Satan.

So I decided to set up a little competition. Who’s more evil… Hitler or Satan? Here we go–

SATAN: Van Dyke beard.
HITLER: Charlie Chaplin moustache.
Edge: Satan.

SATAN: Unleashed a plague of locusts.
HITLER: Unleashed the Volkswagen Beetle.
Edge: Satan.

SATAN: Was on a mission to test Job.
HITLER: Was missing a testicle. Never got a blowjob.
Edge: Satan.

SATAN: Was given powerful dialogue by John Milton.
HITLER: Wrote his own material.
Edge: Hitler.

HITLER: Was responsible for the deaths of millions of people during his brutal reign.
SATAN: Never actually existed.
Edge: Hitler.

Final score: By a 3-2 margin, Satan is more evil than Hitler.

23 thoughts on “hitler vs. satan

  1. I should have known that any kind of back talk would only make your head swell…

    Did you catch that…I said “Head Swell”..

    You’re the Hitler/Satan love child the world’s been waiting for…

    Bite me…HARD

  2. let me tell you a little something about phil clark. phil clark is a bleeding heart liberal. and a fascist. all will be revealed in good time.

  3. Can I say something and not come off as a complete dick to someone I’ve never met, but it seems like you’re getting really worked up over opinions posted on the internet. I mean really in the grand scheme of things what does it matter to you what Philip writes? There’s like a billion blogs out there and their full of opinions that you won’t agree with and that ultimately don’t matter. Philip’s last word on what should be covered and not covered in blogs isn’t the final authority on anything, it was just a piece of witty and on point writing. It isn’t more a decree than your comment that Philip is the spawn of Hitler and the Devil (and what was up with that anyway?).
    Personally I think Philip’s writing is awesome, but that’s partly due to the fact that I can enjoy tongue in cheek humour.

  4. *LOL* Ok, ok lets get it all straight here…

    Claudette is the clear *beauty* and brains of this Clique of Cliques…

    I adore Philip…Yes, I’m flirting..Philip is not my nemesis *ha*…He is a wonderful writer/person and I was being over the top…The Red/Black…His fabulous Ego…A leader of leaders if you will.

    I laughed my head off today about it..I love starting trouble & I’m sorry, but not sorry…I’m glad you all gave yourselves countries…& that Mark shared his *feelings* with me *wink*…

    I’m really just ‘making fun’…

    Peace Kids…We’re all North End…

  5. Whatever, Mark… I know you tie-dyed your Black Flag t-shirt.

    Anyways I gotta go. I have a hot date planned with Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS. If I’m late she’ll castrate me… now there’s a girl who knows how to flirt.

  6. despite phil clark’s attempts to revoke my right to free [XXXXXX] i will wish him a happy [XXXXXXXX].

    (This post edited by SiteAdmin, 18 March 2004 18:55:30.)

  7. haha your nazi leader only had one testical while the over in freedom land our greatest military leader (patton) had both testies and a badass revolver

  8. I would just like to say that Hitler and satan are the same person, hitler is satan as human form, just as jesus is human form of god. By the way THe son (jesus) the father ( the man) and the holy spirit are all one god, so dont go saying jesus is the son of god, he is but hes not.

  9. Heil Hitler. What Hitler did to all those people was right. Jews brought down the German economy and now the American economy. Satan is not real and if he was Hitler would have had him gased during WWll. Long live the Third Reich!!!

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