reach for the top

So Mark shared the story of his Reach For The Top experiences. Time for me to come clean.

Reach For The Top, New Brunswick Provincial Champions, Saint John High School, 1988. Undefeated.

We had a lot of punk-rock attitude on our team. We were the IB kids, and we just assumed we were smarter than everyone else.

Not that there was anything particularly punk rock about the International Baccalaureate. The IB kids were mostly boring and they brought their English essays to parties and read them to each other. Meanwhile I would try to drown them all out with Dead Kennedys tapes.

In those days, I was a cross between a punk rocker and a scruffy working-class nerd. I wound up quitting the IB or getting kicked out for not doing my homework or whatever.

The host of Reach For The Top was Professor Robert Garland, a fussy old chap with an earring. We all thought he was a big poofter and usually referred to him as “Binky.”

The tapings would take place at the CHSJ television studios on Union Street in Saint John. The show was sponsored by Pepsi so there’d always be lots of free Pepsi lying around for us to get all wired up on.

Our team was not always very sportsmanlike; a direct result of our arrogance. Whenever we’d built up a comfortable lead we would buzz in with silly answers to questions. During the last question of one round, I remember buzzing in and announcing “Boris Pasternak!” as the answer to whatever the question was. After they cut to a commercial, Binky sat there staring at me and going, “‘Boris Pasternak’?”

My teammates all laughed and I smiled and thought, “I’m the shit.”

Our rivals were these smartass yuppie-spawn weenies from Kennebecasis Valley High. KV were also undefeated at the time we met them in the championship round. We set about on a programme of psychological intimidation.

Their star player, Kevin, had a habit of smirking and flashing the two-fingered devil sign whenever his team was being introduced. During the opening introductions of their game against us, my teammate René beat him to the punch by mimicking his smirk and the “sign of the horns.” He totally stole Kevin’s thunder. Kevin confronted René about it during a commercial break. I was hoping they’d get into a big fight.

At one point during the game, the category was “Moons Of Saturn” and someone on KV’s team buzzed in and gave the incorrect answer, “Io.” So we buzzed in on every subsequent question in the category and guessed “Io?”

Io is of course one of Jupiter’s moons. However many points we lost were well worth it in sheer snotty style and psych-out value.

We were pricks. But we won.

I just Googled a couple of my old high school RFTT teammates, no luck. You’d think those geeks would have established a web presence by 2004.

I think a bunch of girls saw the show on TV. Didn’t matter. We returned to school as conquering heroes, but my virginity emerged unscathed from the experience.

I was not a tang-slayer in high school. I lived in my parents’ basement and had a wicked record collection.

11 thoughts on “reach for the top

  1. Reach For the Top? OMG….. I had no idea you were a Reach For the Top participant, and a champion, no less.

    *blushes*
    Oh, Phil, you have reached new heights in my eyes. Don’t you see? We were meant for one another. Call me 😉

  2. I agree. Right up there with the fire-teacher-blinding epic. Given that we’re not meant for each other, I haven’t fucked you and don’t expect to, it was the first post in a long time that made me remember why I read so frequently…

  3. Ha ha. I probably watched that episode many years ago. I was a closet RFTT fan. And I also attended KVHS…you’re right, the students there WERE a bunch of evil yuppie spawn. I spent most of my time hanging out with the punks in the smoking area. And I think I knew this guy you mentioned from the KVHS team. If it is the same guy, he was a total dweeb.

  4. He was kind of a skinny guy, as I recall, with a Tony Hawk haircut.

    Were you really at KV in 1988? ‘Cause if so… you’re old.

  5. The I.B ‘Warf Rats’ took down the ‘Valley Snob’ brain squad…Rudely at that…?

    Hrmmm….. Everything perfectly as it should be.

    Glory Daze…

  6. Now this brought back ancient memories—sweat-stinky gyms and blinding lights and quizmaster Bob Cole—with hair! How fucking easy was it to get on TV in those days a tall a tall….

  7. >Were you really at KV in 1988? ‘Cause if so… you’re old.

    Yep. I’m ancient. But I can still rock my gold for the ladies. The great thing about being in your thirties is realizing how naive most people in their 20s are.

    Plus, I really don’t look my age. 😉

  8. Kevin was a drummer and enjoyed the Beatles. Friends with another drummer named Stephan who lives in Halifax I think. A drummer for hire, even. Played drums for Nathan Wiley, possibly.
    I was in University with Rene (was Kaiser his last name?). He had a radio show before me played L7 and various other punk rock of the day. Had a good collection because he grew up in Ottawa. His main interest was independent cinema. He ended up being the editor of the school paper and running a film society. I was the projectionist. He moved to Ontario after working for a while at Pete’s Frootique… He’s crazy.
    Was Eric Marks on the SJHS team as well? He went to Oxford. Was a editor for the Telegraph journal for a while.
    His cousin Bruce now lives in Japan.
    Sorry to be long winded. I hung out with the punks in the KV smoking area sometimes too.

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