Here we have Relic the Snowman. Relic looks to be in reasonably good spirits, despite the fact that my three-year-old niece has just stabbed him four times with decorative candy canes.

We had a lot of rain in Saint John today so I suspect Relic may have climbed into the jet-boat and flown off to that big Chukchi in the sky. (You might be Canadian if you caught that reference.)

OK, I have come to the conclusion that “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” is the heaviest Xmas carol, because it is the only Xmas carol that talks about Satan.

“To save us all from Satan’s power.” Use your “Voivod-fan-from-Quebec” voice. “SATAN’S POWERRRRR.”

For Xmas I gave my brother the staple gun that he had just received for his birthday last Tuesday. Stole it from his house on Xmas eve. “Well thank you Philip,” he said as he looked it over. “I sure will be able to do a lot of stapling now…”

“Yep… yep, wanted to get you something useful.” Straight face, straight face. Then my mother burst out laughing.

My brother gave me an exquisitely wrapped white envelope. Gift certificate, was my first thought. Nope. Turned out to be my latest phone bill from Aliant.

As Steve was heading out I slipped him a package. “Sort of a grown-up gift… wait’ll you’re home to open it,” nudge wink. Sixteen multicoloured plastic clothespins.