10.31.2005
There's a big sadness inside of me that won't go away.
6:06 PM
10.25.2005
P.S.
Function: adjective: being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive way (as through procrastination, stubbornness, and unwillingness to communicate) a passive–aggressive personality —passive–aggressively adverb
I first noticed it when we were having sex. The bed started to spin and turned like a carasol and I thought I thought I was having a different kind of orgasm. It was a lie. As soon as I got up off the bed I fell down.
My boyfriend screwed me dizzy.
I laid in bed for 4 days. On Saturday I went to emergency and laid in a bed there. The nurse told me to put on that napkin dress thing, which distressed me.
“But, I’m not wearing any underwear…”
She just laughed and closed the curtain.
The emergency room just has a bunch of old people in it. People with high blood pressure and dementia. I was THE only youth. It’s nothing like that show.
The doctor tested me for low iron and pregnancy. I told him I had vertigo but he didn’t believe me. He told me I was light headed, not dizzy. Ye-owwww, ok then.
Yesterday I went to a real doctor and he told me I had Benign Positional Vertigo. I feel unbalanced and sea sick, or like I’m walking on a moving boat all the time, and sick to my stomach.
Jason made jerk chicken for supper and avocado potato.
Bye.
4:36 PM
10.19.2005
Yesterday, my boyfriend came to the building where I work. I left him alone for seconds, just the time it takes to get from floor nine to floor ground. Some dude, possibly a techie, (why do I say a techie, just cuz, I know them and they're bitter) said to my boyfriend, who waffled or day dreamed at the elevator door (like when he runs into fire hydrants or steps on dog poo, all I can say is , he's tall and he day dreams) the dude said to my boyfriend
"Hey Stupid. In. or Out."
That's the wrong thing to say, especially to anyone. No one wants to be called stupid, what an unnecessary thing to say to someone, even if you are showing off for girls in suits or whatever, but don't be surprised when my boyfriend threatens to beat the shit of you. That's just his way.
3:02 PM
10.11.2005
When you fuck a Chef
Jason stuffed the turkey with liver, pears, tarrgon and dill. He made scalloped potatoes and vegetables in hollandaise sauce. Juicy turkey, with crispy skin.
I feel really fucking spoiled. I feel like I'm eating at a fancy restaurant every night. Spicy Mexican salads, sweet potatoe pie, stuffed scallops, salmon wrapped in bacon, spring rolls.
Holy shit. What should we eat tonight? I just invited Allie for dinner. This HAS to be shared.
12:39 PM
10.07.2005
I guess I'm sorry for not writing, except I had a vision I was a vampire and I had to hide it from everything. I also had to take care of this baby and that was hard. It got lost in a bunch of blankets.
12:25 PM
There's a big sadness inside of me that won't go away.
6:06 PM
10.25.2005
P.S.
Function: adjective: being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive way (as through procrastination, stubbornness, and unwillingness to communicate) a passive–aggressive personality —passive–aggressively adverb
I first noticed it when we were having sex. The bed started to spin and turned like a carasol and I thought I thought I was having a different kind of orgasm. It was a lie. As soon as I got up off the bed I fell down.
My boyfriend screwed me dizzy.
I laid in bed for 4 days. On Saturday I went to emergency and laid in a bed there. The nurse told me to put on that napkin dress thing, which distressed me.
“But, I’m not wearing any underwear…”
She just laughed and closed the curtain.
The emergency room just has a bunch of old people in it. People with high blood pressure and dementia. I was THE only youth. It’s nothing like that show.
The doctor tested me for low iron and pregnancy. I told him I had vertigo but he didn’t believe me. He told me I was light headed, not dizzy. Ye-owwww, ok then.
Yesterday I went to a real doctor and he told me I had Benign Positional Vertigo. I feel unbalanced and sea sick, or like I’m walking on a moving boat all the time, and sick to my stomach.
Jason made jerk chicken for supper and avocado potato.
Bye.
4:36 PM
10.19.2005
Yesterday, my boyfriend came to the building where I work. I left him alone for seconds, just the time it takes to get from floor nine to floor ground. Some dude, possibly a techie, (why do I say a techie, just cuz, I know them and they're bitter) said to my boyfriend, who waffled or day dreamed at the elevator door (like when he runs into fire hydrants or steps on dog poo, all I can say is , he's tall and he day dreams) the dude said to my boyfriend
"Hey Stupid. In. or Out."
That's the wrong thing to say, especially to anyone. No one wants to be called stupid, what an unnecessary thing to say to someone, even if you are showing off for girls in suits or whatever, but don't be surprised when my boyfriend threatens to beat the shit of you. That's just his way.
3:02 PM
10.11.2005
When you fuck a Chef
Jason stuffed the turkey with liver, pears, tarrgon and dill. He made scalloped potatoes and vegetables in hollandaise sauce. Juicy turkey, with crispy skin.
I feel really fucking spoiled. I feel like I'm eating at a fancy restaurant every night. Spicy Mexican salads, sweet potatoe pie, stuffed scallops, salmon wrapped in bacon, spring rolls.
Holy shit. What should we eat tonight? I just invited Allie for dinner. This HAS to be shared.
12:39 PM
10.07.2005
I guess I'm sorry for not writing, except I had a vision I was a vampire and I had to hide it from everything. I also had to take care of this baby and that was hard. It got lost in a bunch of blankets.
12:25 PM
