4.24.2006
Friday: My Birthday!
I woke up early and checked my Internet stuff. Tweedie had hijacked my space and said sweet things and made me all blinky. Some of the things he did made me want the sex. Then I went for a massage. I had no idea my ass hurt that much.
My mom and I went shopping. She bought me a shitload of maternity clothes for summer. Two sundresses and a skirt and hippie top and a cardigan. Mom said. "Don't take them all out at once...and when you do mention you got them on sale." For my dad. The cheapie.
Mom bought the baby 14 cloth diapers made by a lady in Ontario. And a piggy bank that says "Baby Tweety's Bank." and Tweety bird is holding a pencil. I love pencils.
Then I got home and I was basically on the phone all afternoon with friends.
I went to supper at Blue Moom Bistro with Amelia, Kenova, Dave and his new flame, Sherri, Mark, Stacey and Shawn. It's no Vortex that's for sure. I could take a bunch of vegetables and put them in a baggie and step on them and it would taste better than that veggie burger I ordered. I liked the portion sizes though. If you know me you know how obsessed I am with portion sizes and the rate of obesity. I hate it when I get rice that could feed 5 people. And the BEST part was when a blueberry cheescake came out and Shawn told me it was from Tweedie and how my lover had called and insisted on something BLUEBERRY. Since I have been pregnant I have been consumed by desire for blueberries. I eat them even though they are not in season (oh the shame!).
My other obsession is lavender. The smell of lavender makes me wild.
Saturday:
I had the BEST day with Jean. I got to her house at 7:30 am. Yeah, you heard me. We went to the Market and I ate veggie sushi, coffee, a strawberry waffle, and a strawberry vanilla pistaschio truffle (shared). We spent the whole time talking. There was a couple from the country with a lavender set up. Lavender soap, essential oil, dried up lavender in a heart tin. You get the deal. He was a nice guy. We talked about their lavender farm and there's a lavender festival in the summer! While he got distracted by another customer Jean nudged me and pointed to a sign that said "Free Bibles." Whenever I see anything that says Free Bibles I think CULTCULTCULTRUNFORTHEHILLS.
I bought a lavender dryer bag and lavender bath and body oil. But there's no way I'm going to that "laaaaaaaaaaaaavender" festival. Yeah right.
Then we went to Point Pleasant Park and walked and talked and I peed in the "woods" twice.
Sunday:
I washed the diapers and hung them out on the line. It was romantic.
Celyne is here from Montreal to graduate from NSCAD. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. We met at One World and had crepes for lunch. We sat outside at the little table and it felt exposed like we were eating in the middle of West Street. We talked and wandered down to 'The Bus Stop' and then went to meet Howard in the Hydrostone where we did some more talking. Then I went home and my parents took me to May Gardens for supper where the portions are the size of 5 dinners.
9:29 AM
4.19.2006
My Parents Part 2. Watching The Soap.
"There she goes. Crying again."
"She probably doesn't have to go to the bathroom much. There's no fluids."
"I'm not talking to you."
"Why?"
"Because you didn't make me any supper."
4:55 PM
4.17.2006
“I need a vacation!..and I DON’T want to go to Keddy’s Trailors CAMPing and I DON’T want to go to Cape BRETon."
“What?!"
“I SAAAAAID!..I DON’T want to go to the CABIN!"
“Why don’t you call some of your friends and get them to burn the freakin’ place down?"
“That was 10 years ago!…we LOST our chance..They’re OLD now and they would SQUEAL!"
By this time she’s out of ear reach, with the plate of leftover turkey, upstairs. My father looks at me and says.
“What’s the FREAKIN’ use of criminals if they won’t FREAKIN' do anything!!!"
“WHAAAAAAT?!"
5:15 PM
4.14.2006
My back hurts so much. I can't sit stand walk without it hurting....it feels strained and I'm having a hard time keeping my back straight and I'm really cranky. I am only 5 and half months and it will just get worse. I suppose it doesn't help that I am huge. I LOOK like I could be 7 months. I am taking hot baths twice a day...slathering my back with A535 and it's not helping.
I officialy hate this as much as I hate relish.
6:02 PM
4.10.2006
Breakfast: Spinach Salad
Yesterday I went to One World Cafe for the auction. I was drawn by the swank. Vegan cooking lessons...local cd's...dinner with The Stolen Minks, POP Explosion tickets.
As soon as I walked into the Cafe, Mark Black, the auctioneer, put me up for bid with my baby. "Claudette! It's Claudette. Hi Claudette. Claudette? Anyone? Anyone? 8 bucks? 8 bucks?" I felt the redness spread over me. Mark Black harrassed me right up until I mouthed "Fuck off."
I got some peppermint tea, while my ears dingled with the embarrassment of having EVERYONE look at me.
I wanted to bid on the custom made T-shirts and I should have. I want to get Scott a T-shirt that says "Motherfucker." He asked for it. That's what he is. Get it?
I bid on a session with a photographer to get baby pictures done...for your band or "your family" as Mark Black put it. The photo session started at $20. I thought that was too low so I yelled "30!!!"
"Claudette loves her family! Anyone? 31? 31 dollars!..." At first no one bid and I was like shit...cause I only bid to up the ante...you know cause (pssst...I know some picture takers). Someone said 32 and I sighed and slipped out the door.
"Claudette is starting a family.. Why don't you bid on this table and chairs Claudette?"
"No."
"Does the baby kick?"
"Yes."
"Does it hurt?"
"Only when she kicks me in the cervix."
10:33 AM
Friday: My Birthday!
I woke up early and checked my Internet stuff. Tweedie had hijacked my space and said sweet things and made me all blinky. Some of the things he did made me want the sex. Then I went for a massage. I had no idea my ass hurt that much.
My mom and I went shopping. She bought me a shitload of maternity clothes for summer. Two sundresses and a skirt and hippie top and a cardigan. Mom said. "Don't take them all out at once...and when you do mention you got them on sale." For my dad. The cheapie.
Mom bought the baby 14 cloth diapers made by a lady in Ontario. And a piggy bank that says "Baby Tweety's Bank." and Tweety bird is holding a pencil. I love pencils.
Then I got home and I was basically on the phone all afternoon with friends.
I went to supper at Blue Moom Bistro with Amelia, Kenova, Dave and his new flame, Sherri, Mark, Stacey and Shawn. It's no Vortex that's for sure. I could take a bunch of vegetables and put them in a baggie and step on them and it would taste better than that veggie burger I ordered. I liked the portion sizes though. If you know me you know how obsessed I am with portion sizes and the rate of obesity. I hate it when I get rice that could feed 5 people. And the BEST part was when a blueberry cheescake came out and Shawn told me it was from Tweedie and how my lover had called and insisted on something BLUEBERRY. Since I have been pregnant I have been consumed by desire for blueberries. I eat them even though they are not in season (oh the shame!).
My other obsession is lavender. The smell of lavender makes me wild.
Saturday:
I had the BEST day with Jean. I got to her house at 7:30 am. Yeah, you heard me. We went to the Market and I ate veggie sushi, coffee, a strawberry waffle, and a strawberry vanilla pistaschio truffle (shared). We spent the whole time talking. There was a couple from the country with a lavender set up. Lavender soap, essential oil, dried up lavender in a heart tin. You get the deal. He was a nice guy. We talked about their lavender farm and there's a lavender festival in the summer! While he got distracted by another customer Jean nudged me and pointed to a sign that said "Free Bibles." Whenever I see anything that says Free Bibles I think CULTCULTCULTRUNFORTHEHILLS.
I bought a lavender dryer bag and lavender bath and body oil. But there's no way I'm going to that "laaaaaaaaaaaaavender" festival. Yeah right.
Then we went to Point Pleasant Park and walked and talked and I peed in the "woods" twice.
Sunday:
I washed the diapers and hung them out on the line. It was romantic.
Celyne is here from Montreal to graduate from NSCAD. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. We met at One World and had crepes for lunch. We sat outside at the little table and it felt exposed like we were eating in the middle of West Street. We talked and wandered down to 'The Bus Stop' and then went to meet Howard in the Hydrostone where we did some more talking. Then I went home and my parents took me to May Gardens for supper where the portions are the size of 5 dinners.
9:29 AM
4.19.2006
My Parents Part 2. Watching The Soap.
"There she goes. Crying again."
"She probably doesn't have to go to the bathroom much. There's no fluids."
"I'm not talking to you."
"Why?"
"Because you didn't make me any supper."
4:55 PM
4.17.2006
“I need a vacation!..and I DON’T want to go to Keddy’s Trailors CAMPing and I DON’T want to go to Cape BRETon."
“What?!"
“I SAAAAAID!..I DON’T want to go to the CABIN!"
“Why don’t you call some of your friends and get them to burn the freakin’ place down?"
“That was 10 years ago!…we LOST our chance..They’re OLD now and they would SQUEAL!"
By this time she’s out of ear reach, with the plate of leftover turkey, upstairs. My father looks at me and says.
“What’s the FREAKIN’ use of criminals if they won’t FREAKIN' do anything!!!"
“WHAAAAAAT?!"
5:15 PM
4.14.2006
My back hurts so much. I can't sit stand walk without it hurting....it feels strained and I'm having a hard time keeping my back straight and I'm really cranky. I am only 5 and half months and it will just get worse. I suppose it doesn't help that I am huge. I LOOK like I could be 7 months. I am taking hot baths twice a day...slathering my back with A535 and it's not helping.
I officialy hate this as much as I hate relish.
6:02 PM
4.10.2006
Breakfast: Spinach Salad
Yesterday I went to One World Cafe for the auction. I was drawn by the swank. Vegan cooking lessons...local cd's...dinner with The Stolen Minks, POP Explosion tickets.
As soon as I walked into the Cafe, Mark Black, the auctioneer, put me up for bid with my baby. "Claudette! It's Claudette. Hi Claudette. Claudette? Anyone? Anyone? 8 bucks? 8 bucks?" I felt the redness spread over me. Mark Black harrassed me right up until I mouthed "Fuck off."
I got some peppermint tea, while my ears dingled with the embarrassment of having EVERYONE look at me.
I wanted to bid on the custom made T-shirts and I should have. I want to get Scott a T-shirt that says "Motherfucker." He asked for it. That's what he is. Get it?
I bid on a session with a photographer to get baby pictures done...for your band or "your family" as Mark Black put it. The photo session started at $20. I thought that was too low so I yelled "30!!!"
"Claudette loves her family! Anyone? 31? 31 dollars!..." At first no one bid and I was like shit...cause I only bid to up the ante...you know cause (pssst...I know some picture takers). Someone said 32 and I sighed and slipped out the door.
"Claudette is starting a family.. Why don't you bid on this table and chairs Claudette?"
"No."
"Does the baby kick?"
"Yes."
"Does it hurt?"
"Only when she kicks me in the cervix."
10:33 AM
